In that relationship, I thought I was in love. But looking back, I know I wasn't. I wanted to love him, I thought I did in every sense of the word, but it wasn't what I thought it was. I truly loved him for who he was, I loved his personality, and I loved his friendship. I loved who I was with him, and I loved who we were together. But that love was more the love of a friend than the love of someone I might spend the rest of my life with. I did learn more about the type of person that I do want to be with, and there are many, many characteristics that he has that I will always look for in someone I might date.
Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked.
God taught me a lot about love.
In my new journal, the theme is (for now) about guarding my heart and walking steadfast down the path of righteousness. Pray for me as I continue on this lifelong pursuit after God's heart.
"My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one's whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil."
"No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written on it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
I've been reading the journal that I just finished. Before I (finally) get to bed, I just wanted to share some of the things that were on my heart on September 7th --
I want to be a successful writer. I want to sing in a band, and play piano, and play drums. I want to love children. I want to teach the Truth of love to people. I want to give to the homeless and needy. I want to love orphans and visit widows. I want to spend time with the elderly. I want to write about all of my experiences. I want to learn many different languages and live in different countries. I want to live in the city and the country. I want to do short-term missions trips. I want my Master’s degree in social work. I want my Doctorate. I want to lead people. I want to know God.-- Good night.