10.31.2008

'Cause all we lost was years.

My heart is heavy today, friends. I don't really know why.

I don't really like Halloween.

But I don't think that has anything to do with anything.

Sometimes I listen to music, and it's so good, and the lyrics are brilliant, and the music tugs at your heart for reasons you don't understand. Sometimes I'm brought back to the past, and I don't like that. Sometimes I don't mind, but right now I don't like it.

The search for love is long and tedious and painful and hopeful and exciting. I'm tired of looking, and I know it tends to happen when you aren't looking, but we've been looking for centuries. Why else do we love love stories and connect best with happy endings? Because we want our own. Even from the ripe young age of toddlerhood, we've had the images and fantasies of Disney princesses stamped onto our hearts, never to fade until the day we fall in love.

You know the line in The Notebook, "I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and for me, that has always been enough"... That quote has always stuck with me. Perhaps because I find it is true for myself.

That's all I can bring myself to say.

3 comments:

  1. Jess I just love you so much and I miss you so much. I thank God everyday that we are friends.
    I know that God is working on your heart just as he is working on mine.

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  2. Jess...for some reason I was about to call you Jessi...uh no! LOL I hope your heart has lifted off the heaviness and is light as a feather today! I love you!!!

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  3. :) I just love you both so so much!! And... yep I'm light as a feather, stiff as a board... haha ok not really the last part...

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