Itching for More Joy

I’m still itchy and quite uncomfortable no matter what I’m doing. When I turn my head, I hear the skin on my ears and my neck cracking and crunching and it makes me want to cry, but the Lord is meeting me there. In the cracks and crust and tears.

Gross, right? Gross and grace, though.

My life is not overall a difficult one. I’m blessed in more ways than I can sum up here. Even as I spent another day at home, yesterday the Lord showed his grace and goodness to me: there was softly falling snow, and flowers brought by my mom, and many text messages from friends checking to see how I am. Blessed.

I know I am blessed and I am growing in thankfulness. But I still feel pain and itching and confusion. I still wonder where this is going, why it hasn’t stopped, and what I’m supposed to learn.

In my tears, my heart’s cry has been this: Lord, please meet me here. In my brokenness, in my questions, in my pain. His constant answer? I am here. I know. I see. And I have a purpose and a plan.

I have a quiet peace about this. It isn’t forever, and it’s not for nothing. 

We didn’t go to church on Sunday because of the infection, and God still met us in our living room. We worshipped at home with the live online service. This could never replace the gathering together on Sunday mornings with our church family… never. But to be sick at home and with my husband and covered in grace and truth? Blessed.

And the sermon? It was on joy. JOY. We heard about bearing fruit, and abiding in Him, and seasons of pruning. Oh, the painful pruning.

But it is good and it is for a purpose: that I would bring more glory to God.

Here’s the thing: Apart from Jesus, you and I can do nothing (John 15:5). Nothing eternal, nothing worth doing. Certainly not attaining joy. So, what am I trying to do apart from God? What is he calling me to in this difficult season? What is he calling YOU to in the season you find yourself in?

For me, so far, the answer is rest. 

See… a God who is loving and gracious is pursuing me and using a difficult season to prune, to cause me to bear more fruit, to bring true joy to my life. I believe this, and I'm praying He will meet me and help me in my unbelief.

Do you believe he’ll meet you in yours?

Unspeakable Joy (Vertical Church Band featuring Meredith Andrews)

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